New Year Musings: On "resolving" and metaphors

Many people are focused on resolutions and goal setting this time of year. A quick search reveals that "resolution" refers to the quality of being determined or making a firm decision to do or not to do something. For me, resolutions happen any time I realize I am done with a thing or I am ready to evolve - not solely at the start of a new calendar year. I resolve (make a firm decision) to let a thing go, or to pick up a new habit or perspective in service of a change I am working on. Notice I say "working on." It's essential that I give myself the grace and opportunity, no matter the time of year, to continue to work on something. I can resolve any time of year as I continue to build on the process of learning and growing. Learning is essential, and affording myself the opportunities for learning is more so.

The admission of imperfection accompanies learning, and can even be comforting with a certain tone of acceptance and allowing oneself to be in a process; to show up and keep learning. "Woops! There I go being an imperfect human again." What do I notice about that? What in this moment is an important observation or takeaway for me to remember? Eventually the process culminates in being something different. Admitting imperfection allows for failure, learning, and trying again. It allows for forgetfulness, another human quality, and still trying again. When I resolve to change, it's recognizing I am entering a process; I'll get to practice.

That is when I often have to give myself a gentle reminder to keep going. It doesn't always happen that way though. Sometimes it's more like a guilt-filled realization that I forgot again, or I I belly-flopped, or "Look, there she goes again!" followed by whatever subsequent self-deprecating or judgmental thoughts. I catch myself in those moments, and lucky for me, I usually realize they are part of the process too. Forgiving myself, finding compassion in moments of judgment.

The point is, "resolutions" happen all the time, over and over, and over time; not solely at the start of a new calendar year. In a way, I resolve every time I show up and keep going. There is also comfort in encouraging sticking to a resolution, evolving a resolution, allowing practice, and progress over time, and checking in with oneself more than once a year about it. I appreciate that the new calendar year can bring a reminder to reflect and keep going, but what's important to me isn't so much the day on which I resolve to change, or that I decide to let something go, it's that I am showing up every day in the process.

I'm really digging all the ocean and water metaphors that have crossed my path of late. Water as one of the natural elements is often associated with emotion and change. There is a lot of food for thought in water metaphors, especially as it pertains to resolving, a journey, change, life and associated challenges.

• From my Friends and Mentors at #PositiveIntelligence life/change/a challenge is like sailing or surfing. The nutshell metaphor: You can't control the wind and waves, but you can learn to surf or sail with them!

• Sometimes I like swimming as a metaphor. I started completing mini-triathlons several years ago and used the swimming metaphor a lot thereafter when I found myself in the thick of a challenge. I was reminded of Nemo's friend, Dori, many a time when I would think (often in a sing-song voice) "Just keep swimming..." from about 2018 through the middle of 2022. Around mid 2022 I realized the swimming metaphor is really appropriate in some circumstances, but it sure is easier to keep going when you have a boat! Swimming for years is tough. A boat makes getting across the water way easier.

• How fortunate to have a boat! And even better yet, a sail too! Check out the book "Transcend: the New Science of Self-Actualization" by Scott Barry Kaufman, for a sailing metaphor that expands on Abraham Maslow's classic needs work.

• I have a (fun!) group of friends who exercise together, who like to use water metaphors too. We talk about rubber-balls floating, doggie paddling, using strokes, canoeing with paddles (or not), surfing, sailing - all the ways and means. No matter your method of propelling through the water, the point is always to go with the flow, NOT against it. You might just find yourself paddling way too hard.

• And then there is the lazy river. You know, like at an amusement park, when you bob along on a tube-style raft. I don't think I read this one anywhere. If I did the source escaped me and I ask forgiveness. I think it came from my own sense of what it feels like to allow - to let a thing feel easy. To float. Similar to the rubber ball floating on the surface of the water, you float, and you gently bounce off of any object you come into contact with, bobbing along to your destination.

There are so many ways to use water metaphors. Just pick and apply the one that is most empowering for the moment in time. Now, the New Year, is a good example. It's winter. I often find a pause is necessary in winter. A lot less swimming, sailing, paddling, or other forms of propelling across the water happen around here in winter months. Perhaps I can put my boat in storage for a bit and focus on regenerating, rest, curiosity or observation. Curiosity and observation forward movement too.

A rest, some reflection, and then in good time, spring comes. Resting isn't forever, because growth is continuous, and then we are back at practicing and showing up again. Time to get back into the swing - perhaps in the water, with a canoe and paddle or a boat and sail.

Other new year musings:

Yes to looking back on 2022, and even before then, but with an eye and ear on what was learned, so as to be more attuned with capacity for moving forward - that capacity of "CAN."

On looking back, it's good to let some things go. Put the weight down already if it isn't helping with the journey.

Yes to more internal-intention alignment, to one's true north, with less pressure on the external goals. External goals are part of the vision, but internal-alignment is the source.

Yes to values alignment and needs being filled, and to taking ownership of those things for myself.

Yes to more clarity. (Another good reason to put the boat in storage for a bit. Let the water run clear).